the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
birth control should be required to get into college
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
