whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
