Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
