Having a random hookup so left but love u
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
