I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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