I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Randomize
