is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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