if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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