She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
