i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
