Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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