We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
