Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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