I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
lol hangovers are for mortals.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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