Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
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