And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
