i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
