Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Couch. On fire.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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