do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
