I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
