Old men and throwing up are my life now.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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