the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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