I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
