youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
