I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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