Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I understand Curling. That high.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
