She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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