I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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