I got chris browned last night
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
