There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
