I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
