peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
