Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
