Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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