Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
