If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Are we still banned from the library?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
