Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
