Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
