Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
