Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize