hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
