After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Randomize
