You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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