Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Be still, my beating vagina.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
