you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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