My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
