Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
