I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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