I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
