I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
