If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
