after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
