Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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