i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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