how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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