woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize