Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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