I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
