In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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